Carie Austin never thought she would find herself reaching out for help for her family from EveryStep’s grief & loss programs. But then again, no parent ever does.
“We lived a pretty low-key life ... and then COVID happened and everything just kind of went a little topsy-turvy,” Carie remembers about when things began to change in her family, “we ended up losing (the kids’) grandma ... shortly after my ex-husband and I had separated.”
That’s when the family first crossed paths with EveryStep. In the fall, the family received a Cheer Box just before the holidays with gifts curated to help with grieving during what should be the happiest time of the year. Carie remembers all her kids struggling with the first loss in their lives, but especially her daughter Adeline.
“It was just a rough time for the kids, but Adeline is one that tends to be a little more vocal and she was struggling with it,” she says, “I think most of that is just not having answers to questions she's always wanted.”
As the girls were still learning to cope with the loss of a loved one, Carie learned her daughters had also been quietly living with a secret that changed everything.
“Then we had some trauma that had happened,” Carie says. The trauma – whose details need not be repeated – left all three of her kids in need of support once again. “The girls had to be very brave. It was not a situation that I would ever wish upon anybody.”
Thankfully, EveryStep was again there for the kids again, Carie says. They joined the school grief group organized by the Amanda the Panda team. As before, she says she was especially concerned about Ady.
“With Adeline, we knew that she would need a lot of help ... Adeline was at a point where she just needed people,” Carie says, “She just needed to be able to go and be around other people and find a community that gets what she's gone through ... they've all gone through something and we're all sad and we're all grieving and it's okay to go to a place where people are and uplift each other.”
As Ady grew emotionally in the school groups, another opportunity for healing appeared.
“I got an email about a grief camp. I talked to the girls about it, and Adeline was the only one that was interested in it,” Carie says. She signed Ady up, but only after a pep talk.
“She was nervous. I think she worried that there wasn’t going to be anybody her age. ‘Is it just gonna be a bunch of little kids?'”, Carie remembers Ady asking before the camp, “But (if) there were younger kids then she (becomes) their great big sister. She's like a mama hen.”
The camp, Soaring Your Way Through Grief, was held at Creston Elementary school on Saturday, April 18th. Dozens of campers and volunteers gathered for a day of arts, crafts, and activities – including a simulated surfing experience.
Carie was optimistic that this was just what Ady needed. As it turns out, she was exactly right.
“As soon as she got in the car, she was a chatterbox. She showed me all her artwork, all the memorial things that they made, all the little pins that she got. She was talking about giving pins to other friends and other families, and she asked when the next one would be,” Carie says.
“She had a great time. She hung up all the things at home, too. They're still on her wall in her bedroom,” she says. But the day was about much more than just fun. “She felt validated in her feelings, but also that she could just relax. It was just nice to go and just chill and have fun,” she says.
Carie says one thing she has learned through all she has led her children through, is that it is okay to admit you don’t have all the answers and its okay to need help.
“I would absolutely say that it's something to look into and participate in. We are all human and we all need help. We need to be able to reach out and connect.”
