How to Know When an Elderly Parent Needs More Care

woman with elderly parent

They’re called the “sandwich generation” — adults who are caring for both a child at home and taking care of elderly parents. A study by Pew Research Center in 2021 found more than half of Americans in their 40s are taking care of elderly parents and their own children. When you look at the entire U.S. population, about one quarter of U.S. adults (23%) are raising a child and caring for elderly parents.

Learn How EveryStep Supports Young Families

While most adults are willing caring for elderly parents, it can take a toll. When it comes to mental well-being, only 23% of caregivers report “good” mental health. Almost half (47%) report increased anxiety, depression or other mental health issues — 62% more than non-caregivers. 

Balancing parenting, work and taking care of elderly parents can be difficult — but when do you know it’s time to find help? There are some signs that your aging parent may need more help than you can provide. These include:

Difficulty performing daily activities

  • Bathing and grooming.
  • Dressing.
  • Toileting.
  • Continence.
  • Walking, and moving from a bed to a chair.
  • Eating and drinking.

Changes in physical appearance

  • Noticeable weight loss because of poor diet, or difficulty cooking, eating or shopping for food.
  • Wearing soiled clothing or dressing inappropriately for the weather because of difficulties dressing.
  • Poor personal hygiene.
  • Bruises or other marks on the body that could indicate falls or changes in mobility.

Changes in behavior and mental status

  • Lack of drive or motivation.
  • Loss of interest in hobbies or activities.
  • Difficulty keeping track of time.
  • Increased confusion.
  • Inability to recall names of familiar people, places or objects.

EveryStep Home Care is a nonprofit provider with experience and a solid reputation that goes back more than 100 years. With nurses across Iowa, EveryStep’s qualified, local professionals can provide a wide variety of in-home services to help keep you care for an aging parent. Please contact EveryStep Home Care if you can answer “yes” to two or more of the following questions:

  • Have you (or your parent) been recently hospitalized?
  •  Were you diagnosed with a new illness or disease?
  • Have you had a recent medication change?
  • Do you need physical, occupational or speech therapy services?
  • Are you at risk for falls?
  • Do you have concerns with safety at home?

Karla Maxwell, who lives near Winterset, is grateful for the nurses of EveryStep Home Care’s team who provided care for both her mother and father. Karla and her sister Kathy were happy to help their parents stay in their home by running errands for groceries and stopping by to visit. But as their parents’ health declined, they knew they couldn’t do it alone.

“I don't think anything our family went through is any different from what millions of other families go through,” says Karla. “You just move from one situation to the next step and figure out a new plan to make it all work. It was a gradual process.”

As Karla’s father’s condition deteriorated, he began receiving hospice care from EveryStep Hospice and passed away in July of 2024. “I felt like my sister and I could be honest with both the hospice and home care teams. We both needed the support — just that reinforcement. We could talk to them with our parents, or we could talk to them privately. They helped us through so that we could cope and not spend so many sleepless nights wondering, ‘what are we going to do next?’ I always knew we had a backup. It was just a relief to know that EveryStep was there. I don’t know why or how people go through that alone.”

Connect with EveryStep

EveryStep Home Care teams provide care in nearly a quarter of Iowa counties. For more information about EveryStep Home Care, click here.

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If you or someone you know is struggling to find the support they need, please contact EveryStep at 515-558-9946 or complete the commitment-free, confidential “Find Care” form here. EveryStep staff will follow up with a phone call to answer your questions and provide help.