July 25, 2024

How to Be a Better Parent: Tips from Our Experts

Tired New Parents

While a 2023 Pew Research Center study found that while most parents say parenting is rewarding and enjoyable, it’s also tiring and stressful — 62% said parenting is “a lot” or “somewhat” harder than they thought it would be. Most parents want to be a better parent, for their children as well as themselves. EveryStep child health expert Audrey Van Kamen says one way to be a better mom is to remember you’re still a person, and not just a parent.

“I try to educate all my moms before they deliver that self-care is vital to maintaining their mental health. And if they're able to do little acts of self-preservation, it really helps them avoid some of that burnout or that struggle.”

“In the American culture, mom must be everything to everybody and that’s more toxic than what I’ve dealt with in any other culture.”

Take a Break
Audrey offers some advice for new parents on ways to take a break:

  • Go outside and put your bare feet on the ground.
  • Focus on taking deep breaths.
  • Take a bath.
  • In times of anxiety, sing a song in your head to take your mind off worrying.
  • Walk outside and get some fresh air.
  • Incorporate things you liked to do before you were a parent like painting, gardening or biking. Even tiny breaks to enjoy these things are important.

Connect with EveryStep

Audrey says in her experience, the stress and anxiety of motherhood seems to be related to culture. “In the American culture, mom must be everything to everybody and that’s more toxic than what I’ve dealt with in any other culture. In contrast, Asian culture accentuates the wellbeing of the mother. Mom's not supposed to get out of bed for 45 days, so grandma comes and insists that mom rests. I think that is just the best thing ever. In fact, I think all cultures should do that because they're so focused on mom getting the care that she needs that she does really well.”

Learn How EveryStep Helps New Parents in Our Community

Advice for Successful Parenting
Advice for new parents is as varied as the person giving it, but EveryStep’s experienced team has some tried and true ideas for reducing the stress of parenting, while still helping your child grow and develop. These tips include:

  • Let your child take the lead. “Let your child develop a sense of who they are without interfering,” says Audrey. “Not to say there shouldn’t be boundaries and rules, but it can be a lot more fun and spontaneous when the child has some say in what they’re doing.”
  • Give children options. For instance, when they’re old enough, let them decide if they want this food or that food. It helps them feel like they have some control and develops self-confidence.
  • Listen to your mother’s instinct. “All moms have that inner knowing, so tapping into that intuition and listening to that is most important. And then most obviously, be an advocate for your child if you think that something's not right,” says Audrey.
  • Be present for your child. “This can be difficult with chaotic and busy schedules,” says Berenice Reyes, another EveryStep maternal and child health expert. “Kids need parents that spend quality time with them.”
  • Take time to read to your child for at least 15 minutes a day. “I always remind parents to read to their child as much as they can, but 15 minutes is a good goal,” says Berenice. “I encourage families to set goals to read at least three to five times a week to get the habit started, and then build up to every day.”

Throughout our existence, humans have survived and thrived in communities. The connections we form with others get us through tough times. But that’s not always easy. Our communities have left many Iowans alone — unconnected and unsupported by the larger social fabric. Parents with young children experience an especially vulnerable stage in life.

EveryStep shows up when people need us most, no matter who they are or what circumstances they face. By offering people the connections, tools and resources they need to be successful parents, we foster a flourishing community.

Give Now

Through EveryStep, you have an opportunity to extend your generosity and compassion to the thousands of Iowans experiencing life’s difficult moments. Donate today to make sure no one falls through the gaps in our community fabric.

If you or someone you know is struggling to find the support they need, please contact EveryStep at 515-558-9946 or complete the commitment-free, confidential “Find Care” form here. EveryStep staff will follow up with a phone call to answer your questions and help.