May 9, 2024

Prioritizing Children's Mental Health: Meet Vanissa Spencer

The issue of childhood grief has gained traction since the pandemic, with several published studies focusing on the affects of unresolved grief in students. While most bereaved children appear to grieve normally and continue to function normally into adulthood, research estimates as much as 18% of bereaved children have impaired functioning into adulthood.

Though students spend the majority of their day in the classroom, the National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement (NCSCB) says educators don’t feel prepared to help grieving students and many school districts don’t offer appropriate grief training.

EveryStep Grief & Loss Services school-based support groups are stepping up to meet this need.

Vanissa Spencer, who coordinates EveryStep’s in-school grief groups in rural schools, says EveryStep’s program is unique because it acknowledges grief is not only associated with death. “There are many losses that students in schools are going through. Those losses include the death of a loved one, caregivers being incarcerated, removal of caregiver custody, deportation of a caregiver, divorce of caregivers — in our support groups we are addressing all these issues.”

Before joining EveryStep, Vanissa was a kindergarten teacher in a rural public school for seven years. She says she saw first-hand the toll emotional losses were taking on her students. “The number of students going through the journey of grief is enormous and there was not time allotted, nor training provided for me as a teacher to help my students navigate that grief,” says Vanissa. “Through this work I am able to help these students process their grief by teaching them coping skills and that they are not alone.”

Because EveryStep’s student grief support groups are held at school, students can share their story of loss with other students in a comfortable setting. “They are developing peer connections in an environment where they are spending a great deal of time, learning they are not alone in their grief, and developing coping strategies for navigating the wide range of emotions they are experiencing in a familiar environment,” says Vanissa.

The number of school-based grief groups continues to grow because of the positive feedback from students and staff. In fiscal year 2023, 37 Iowa schools were served by EveryStep’s program.

“EveryStep is making a difference for students by giving them the opportunity to tell their grief story to others and in doing so, allowing them to be heard. We are giving them the opportunity to develop connections with others going through similar experiences, so they know they are not alone in their journey. During group, students are allowed to feel all the emotions that come with their grief without the worry of it being the inappropriate time to feel the way they feel. There is no embarrassment or shame to show their feelings during our groups,” says Vanissa. “EveryStep is allowing students an outlet for their grief in a nonjudgemental supportive group of peers and helping these peers develop a supportive kinship with one another.”

EveryStep facilitates groups in school systems in both rural Iowa and in Des Moines. There are children’s day camps in the summer and holiday programming, as well. To learn more about EveryStep’s wide array of grief services for children and adults, click here.

EveryStep Grief & Loss Services offers resources, events and groups for children grieving the loss of a loved one, beginning at age 5. Children are separated by development and age. You can also download EveryStep’s free resource, “A Guide to Children’s Grief, Loss & Healing”.

If you or someone you know needs care or support, complete the confidential "Find Care" form here. The form sends a message to EveryStep staff who then follow up with a phone call. It's a great way to start a conversation and get answers with no cost or commitment. EveryStep can connect the individual to its own programs and services that may be helpful, as well as services offered by other organizations and providers in the community.